


The Fragments Of Hope

by ComeChaos



Category: The Hobbit (2012), The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Durincest, Fluff and Angst, Kili pov, M/M, Romance, Slash, Slow Build, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-06
Updated: 2013-03-06
Packaged: 2017-12-04 12:25:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/710761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ComeChaos/pseuds/ComeChaos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kili and Fili are setting out on a journey together, southeastward from the Blue Mountains to the Shire, after which they will join with Thorin on his quest for Erebor. As the adventure brings them even closer to each other, Kili struggles with his fears and his secret feelings for his elder brother.</p>
<p>Contains drama, fluff, angst, and dwarven singing … And, of course, smut.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Fragments Of Hope

Small hooves thundered rapidly on the bright, grass-covered ground. Now and then they broke the beating rythm as the small pony jolted, setting off a series of bucks in defiance of its rider. The stout figure on its back seemed at first to have his hands full with just staying in the saddle, but after a while he was seen to break his steed down into a steady canter, turning it around a couple of times and taking it in on a wide circle around the other rider who was with him on the field. Fili rested patiently in the saddle, nodding to himself at Kili's nearly flawless demonstration of his ability to regain control. 

At length Kili slowed to a trot and drew the circle closer around his brother. The pony threw its head up in protest, but obeyed the orders of the dwarf on its back.  
”What d'ya think?” Kili shouted, rising in his stirrups.  
”Looks good, brother!” Fili shouted back. ”Good balance, you're doing well!”  
Kili immediately broke the pace and rode up to the waiting dwarf.  
”Really?” he said, his ragged breath caught in his throat.  
”Aye, really” Fili answered, laughing at Kili's excitement.  
Kili shook his head and tugged at the lively animal's reins with one hand, as he brought the other one up to clear his sight from dark, sweaty strands of hair.  
”We should take a break” Fili suggested.  
”Over there” Kili said, motioning toward a small groove of thick trees.  
They turned and trotted the short distance while Fili whistled a delightful little tune. Kili fell back a bit, just enough to study Fili's exemplary movements as he rode – without it being too obvious, he thought. However –  
”She tired?” Fili yelled.  
”No” Kili answered.  
He quickly hid his annoyance, kicked his pony and returned to Fili's side where he was rewarded with a sunny, if also questioning, smile.

They got off their ponies – happy to feel the ground under their feet again – and tied them to a sturdy tree branch close to where they had spotted a log that seemed good to sit on. Kili climbed up on it, drawing one knee to his chest, and Fili soon joined him, putting his arm around his brother's leg.  
”Honestly” Kili said. ”Do ya think I've gotten better?”  
”I told ya I did” Fili answered, lifting his other arm to play with Kili's hair. ”When've I ever lied to ya, mhm? Six months ago she'd still've made ya bite the dirt.”  
Kili shrugged.  
”I guess it's just … Like I said this morning, I believe I was a bit insecure about a lot of things two years ago. And the thing Thorin said, if ya remember, 'bout my horseback archery –”  
”You were” Fili interrupted. ”And yes, I remember. Though I think he never meant it like that, Kili.”  
”Still” Kili muttered. ”It wasn't very nice of him, but it was probably true.”  
Fili sighed.  
”Actually I still remember the look on your face, brother” he admitted thoughtfully, stroking Kili's cheek with the back of his hand. ”You looked so wounded it was painful to watch.”  
”Well, he wasn't in a particularly good mood that day” Kili said, raising his voice a little. ”No word of appraisal, only 'hrm, you won't hit your marks from horseback until you've learnt how to ride, Kili'. But I did hit them! I swear, he was just rubbing it in because I had trouble earlier with the –”  
Fili laughed and punched his brother lightly with his knuckles.  
”Hey, calm down. I know, I was there too, ya know.”  
”Aye” Kili answered absently, his eyes straying out over the fields and then back to the ponies who were grazing peacefully in the shadow of the tree.  
Due to their customs and the way in which dwarves lived their lives, they did not get many chances to practice their riding skills, and they were also seldom keen to seek for those chances. Horses weren't entirely suited for being kept underground, to say the least. Kili and his brother had never yet journeyed far from their home in the Blue Mountains, and as all dwarves, they preferred to travel under the open sky by foot as long as it was possible. Still, Thorin, son of Thrain, had decided that riding was to be a necessary part of every fighting dwarf's education if they had a mind to serve him. And as royal heirs, his nephews Fili and Kili was of course expected to excel.

Kili watched as his brown pony bumped its nose at Fili's grey one. He had that day two years ago still on his mind when his thoughts started drifting to what it was that had caused his loss of confidence back then. It had been near Midsummer, one of the hottest in many years, yet inside the mountain halls the air and stone had been soothingly cool as always. Kili had returned from a hunt, dripping with sweat and feeling slightly dizzy. He had taken a shortcut to his rooms, and when the narrow corridor opened to the side he had chanced to throw a glance down the dim-lit side passage. There. His brother stood leaning on his arms against the wall, snickering at the woman who was trapped between them. She was a thumb taller than he and wore a red braid on her chin below her full, parting lips. Kili felt his stomach turn inside out. He stood frozen in his tracks like a stone statue – unable to look away from the couple for several moments, after which he finally summoned all his power to throw himself back against the wall, out of sight. He closed his eyes and felt his heart pound like a hammer in the darkness. No, he thought, gasping, and: he is going to leave me. He will have women, and he will spend his nights with them, and I will be alone up waiting for him, and then, he will start courting to find himself a wife, and … The thought that Fili might want to grow a family had never occurred to him before. They had very seldom spoken of such matters and he had allowed himself to blissfully assume that Fili was as uninterested in marriage as he considered himself to be. After all, many dwarves were. But this, he thought, changed everything. Kili flung his eyes open and in the next moment he darted across the opening like a hare pursued by hungry wolves. The rest of the way he ran, heedlessly and not stopping, until he had closed and locked the door to his bedroom behind him. He marched heavily up to his bed and threw himself – boots on – upon the ochre blankets, face down into the pillows. 

After a while he cared to remove his hunting bow and knives and turned to lay on his back as he dropped them carefully to the floor. I'm not being reasonable, he thought, staring up at the simply ornated roof. Still, reasoning would not change the way his heart raced in his chest, nor the way his throat seemed to clench around his breath in sadness and fear. That Fili would want to grow a family was one of the natural roads that life might take when one was becoming older, and it might well be at least half a century until that day came for Kili's brother. Yet the thought that it would ever happen hurt so terribly that Kili found himself overcome with it. He himself had always known that he would be happy to spend his whole life with his closest friend and no one else, he thought fiercely. But let's face it, why would he ever have thought himself good enough to make Fili feel the same about him? Fili was so good, so animated and inspired. Fili was all gold and sparkles. Kili himself was, well, more like a pile of dusty dirt sweeping around in the corners, he thought with a sigh. That was probably what everyone else thought too, he decided. But Fili … Against his will, his thoughts strayed back to the sight at the corridor. Fili often used to laugh in that same way when he and Kili were together, talking or doing something. Somehow that was his way of being, his way of acting around people, Kili thought. He moved his hand down and tugged at his breeches, which he now noticed had settled a bit uncomfortably at his groin. When his tugging did not help, he loosened his garments at the waist and moved in under them, his mind still resting against images of Fili's mischievous smile and the way the corners of his mouth would curl. Without giving it more than a passing thought, he slowly began stroking his growing hardness. The pleasure made him close his eyes, sinking deeper back into the pillows. Soon he impatiently rid himself of his gloves and pulled down his breeches to get more room to move his hand. He built a steady rythm, his breath now coming in short gasps. He thought of the way that his brother would smile at him when he returned from a day in the forge, all sweaty and filthy. The way he would be laughing at something Kili said as he pulled his shirt over his head, revealing hard muscles tender from labour. The way he looked when water splashed over his peaceful, tired face and the dirt trailed off his body drawing patterns in the golden hair on his chest. The way he would growl quietly when he let Kili firmly massage his broad shoulders into letting go of the tension built up during the long day. The way his skin tingled under Kili's caring hands.  
”Fili” he whispered. ”Fili …”  
He pulled the blanket over his stomach and heard a weak moan slip from his own lips as he came, staining the golden fabric with his white seed.

”Hey!”  
Kili stirred and turned to his brother with a movement so sudden that his neck gave an ache in protest. He frowned faintly and felt his cheeks redden, quickly pushing away the reawakened memory and being painfully aware that it retreated only to keep waiting for him somewhere in the back of his head.  
”Don't go trailing off” Fili lectured him, smiling. ”Ya become so boring when ya do.”  
”I'm sorry” Kili said plainly.  
Fili's expression changed.  
”Hey” he mumbled again and leaned in to touch the rough stubble on Kili's jawline. ”What's the matter, brother?”  
Kili stared concentrated at the ponies, swallowing hard.  
”Nothing.”  
”If it's still that thing about Thorin, I just think he was worried about you, Kili.”  
Kili frowned. There it was again – why did everyone insist on worrying about him? His elder brother whispered something inaudible and tenderly put both his arms around him, then kissed him slowly and ever so lightly on the cheek. Kili gave a low cry, flew up from the log and strode back to the ponies, almost sending Fili to the ground as their joint balance was broken. He tugged the reins of his young mare free with a violence as if someone had shouted fire, jumped up in the saddle and set off toward home as fast as he dared to go without risking to lose control again. Even though, he thought bitterly, that was exactly what he already had done.

Things were a little strained between the brothers after that day, even though most of the tension slowly wore off as time passed and weeks turned into months. It had always been hard for anything to truly come between them. Yet Kili often thought back on it. Of course Fili had kissed his cheeks many times before even when they were grown-ups, but seldom when not drunk – and always crude, never like that. Once he tried to bring the subject up, to apologise for his behaviour that he knew had wounded his brother deeply, but Fili immediately brushed it off, simply stating, in a queer voice, that Kili probably had been right in reacting the way he did. Then he left Kili behind and went to work in the forge for the rest of the evening. When he came back, he had bruises on his hands. His shoulders creaked from tension and Kili never brought the matter up again.

Then at last Thorin decided that the time had come for his return to Erebor. Kili and Fili tried to fight down their excitement properly in the company of the older dwarves – Kili being the less successful one – and celebrated lavishly among themselves when they were left on their own. When they had finished helping with the preparations, they decided to set out alone together for the first part of the journey, figuring that there would be plenty of time to consort with the others when the greater part of it began. They left home on a particularly bright spring morning, shading their eyes with their hands as they rode slowly down the sloping feet of the mountains. Their spirits were high and they talked and sang songs. When they had gone through every song that they knew and liked, and a few that Fili insisted on even though Kili found them too dismal to fit their cheerful mood, they started to make up new ones. Fili was the better one with words and he also wove the more intricate melodies to go with them. Kili granted him that victory, relaxing in the saddle happy to watch his brother try out his new ideas. Whenever Fili came up with something that he liked, he would ask of Kili to repeat it for him, insisting that Kili was by far the better singer. Kili willingly obliged him and was rewarded by the delight glittering in his brother's sky-blue eyes.

Then the rain came. The sky was black from dawn to sundown as it poured down endlessly, soaking them to the bone, until they were shivering and laughing only to keep their misery at bay. When the night fell and it still rained, they took shelter under the crossing branches of two large oak trees. They threw off some of their wettest clothes and huddled together for warmth inside a pile of blankets with their coats on top. Fili soon suggested that they should try to get some sleep. He waited patiently while Kili started crawling around, trying his best to find a comfortable position in the cramped space that the blankets had to offer. He became more and more annoyed, but finally ended up lying at least partly straight, with no roots digging into him and with his back to Fili. His brother settled in a lot quicker, his chest to Kili's back, his body following the curve of Kili's. Being shorter than Kili, his head came to rest against his shoulders, and he threw his arm around him, pulling him close. Kili closed his eyes tightly. He knew that Fili already must feel his heart pound through the contact and tried to breathe slowly, but all that happened was that he became short of air, which caused his heart to race even more. Still, he was endlessly grateful that Fili hadn't been able to settle in front of him, he thought. Then he would have felt against his back the way Kili now rose to fullness, throbbing and aching to be touched. He shifted, frowning.  
”Still uncomfortable?” Fili asked kindly, lifting his head.  
”Nah.”  
He tried to relax and think of something else than Fili's warmth against his back and Fili's large hand on his chest. He thought of their mother. He tried to think of what elves, from Thorin's sometimes too vivid storytelling during his nephews' childhood, would probably look like naked. Then he thought of what Thorin's face would look like if he could watch his thoughts and body right now as he lay there, so close to his elder brother, and that did the trick. His hardness faded instantly. Soon all of his thoughts did the same and he drifted into a deep sleep.

He awoke when the first rays of the sun hit his eyelids. He opened them and saw that the sky was clear again. From the loud snores coming from behind, he could tell that Fili was still asleep, sheltered by his back from the piercing light. Then he noticed something else that was perfectly natural, namely the hard swelling pressing into his behind. He flushed red, for a moment feeling as if all the bones in his body had turned to water. Fili's breath came warm and steady against his shoulders. This, he thought solemnly, is the closest I've ever been to him – and ever will be, unless we end up in this stupid situation a second time. Then something else inside him whispered that, if this was truly all he would ever get, maybe he ought to make the most of it … And guilt pierced him like a blade. No. He would sacrifice this moment, right now, and make sure that Fili would never know. Carefully, he freed himself from the blankets and began to crawl away from his brother as slow and quietly as he could. He had almost got to the point where he could sit up when the snores behind him came to a break, and he heard Fili yawn – and then groan mournfully, as if he had preferred to stay asleep.  
”Morning already?” the older dwarf asked hoarsely.  
Kili quickly sat up and turned to face him where he lay, blinking at the sun, his golden hair beautifully spread out on the blanket and the wet grass.  
”Aye” he answered. ”And a good one too” he added, forcing a smile.  
Fili smiled back sleepily as he rose and went off to relieve himself. Eventually, he seemed to come around and began to roam among the trees for firewood. Soon they had a bright fire going and spread out their clothes around it to dry, while they prepared and ate some of the food that they had brought with them. Fili declared that he had spent some time before falling asleep trying to come up with a new song.

”Across the river from mountains blue,  
under rain wet skies, upon silvery dew  
we march to take back our land of old,  
to reclaim our throne and our glittering gold.”

”Then I fell asleep, I think” he ended sheepishly.  
Kili looked at him in awe.  
”Brother, have ya ever considered becoming a scald?”  
Fili laughed.  
”It's not that good, really. It feels like I just took some of the songs I already knew and forged them together into something worse.”  
”Still” Kili mumbled, shaking his head, and put the last of the sausage into his mouth.  
They put out the fire, packed their belongings and continued their journey.

Some days later the dwarves found themselves at the brink of the first great landmark on their journey. Before them the river Lune flowed proudly in its bed, roaring softly in welcome. They stopped and looked in silence across it, at the eastern fields basking in the sun, before continuing. They still had a good distance south of them to cover before they would reach the right place to cross it. There was supposed to be a ferry, maintained and guarded by dwarves at least occasionally, though Thorin had told them not to expect too much. Still, they were in a good mood when they later relieved their ponies of themselves and their luggage and made their camp for the night. Kili had shot a hare during the ride, which they roasted and ate while discussing if any of the others might have set out yet, how far they ought to have come and if their journey had the chance of becoming half as merry as their own.  
”I imagine” Fili said with feigned deliberation, ”that by now Ori has fallen off his pony thrice into some muddy pool, while the back of Nori's poor steed has caved in due to the tremendous amount of obscure paraphernalia hiding under his coat, and Dori has taken to lead both ponies, having first tied Ori to the saddle and put all the blankets and coats that could be spared on top of him to prevent him from catching a cold in this furiously warm weather.”  
Kili snorted louder and louder during his brother's little speech. He was sure that his brother would never say something like that in a larger company. In the grip of the moment he stood up and walked over to Fili, who had finished his meal on his feet in order to stretch his sore legs. Kili pressed himself into his back and hugged him tightly from behind, resting his head on his shoulder.  
”Hullo, brother” Fili whispered, leaning into Kili's embrace.  
They stood so for a while, watching the river flow by and glitter in the red light of the sun as it sank behind them.

By the time they arrived at the ferry, their choice to nestle into each other on that rainy night had in fact turned into something of a habit, and Kili found himself thinking that his heart would break and shatter the day he would have to give it up. In fact, they took to going to bed earlier and earlier and spent their usual time talking also with holding hands, or with combing slowly through each others hair as they looked into each others eyes. The last night, when Fili had thought that he could spot the ferry in the distant, but Kili was simply too tired to stay in the saddle for one more stride, Fili had kissed him again.  
”Goodnight, Kili” he had said, placing his lips gently on the top of his cheekbone.  
And this time, Kili had not run away.

They found the ferry unguarded, but – by the looks of it and to their great relief – at least properly maintained. Thick ropes leapt from shore to shore through rings on the posts in its back and front. It was big and sturdy enough to hold both themselves and their ponies with ease. Kili stood at the at the edge of the water, chewing his lip and sighing.  
”Something wrong?” Fili asked.  
”No, it's just …”  
Kili's voice trailed off for a moment.  
”She used to be so jumpy still just a few years ago. I just hope she won't cause any trouble.”  
Fili touched his brother's back slowly and began to look worried.  
”Ya sure ya can handle her?”  
”Well” Kili said with a wry smile, ”I didn't come all this way to bring a pony of no use, did I?”  
His elder brother shrugged.  
”Or maybe you're just elvishly fond of it?” he suggested in a voice so sincere that Kili had to stop himself from leaping on him, even though he knew he was joking.  
Still, he hadn't leapt on Fili like that for quite a while, he thought, and he would most definitely not mind lying in the grass with him some more. But from the look on his brother's face, he sensed now that it had better wait until they had crossed the river. 

They took off their heavy coats and weapons and piled them up in the middle of the raft, Fili having pointed out that it was unwise to restrict one's ability to swim when one was out on the water. Then, when it came to her turn, Kili's pony dug her small hooves deeply into the shore. Both dwarves sighed loudly as they tried to pull, push and coax her onto the ferry to no avail. Not until they came up with the idea to bring Fili's greyish, ever indifferent mare on first would she come, snorting nervously, but stepping forward all the same. Sneering at each other for not thinking of the idea sooner, they slowly departed from the western shore and came out on the open water. Soon the eastern fields were close. Kili had almost began to ease up again when, out of nowhere, his pony suddenly reared up – and came free. He threw himself full length on the raft, trying to catch the reins with Fili's shouting ringing in his ears – oh, stop it, you'll only make it worse, he thought – but too late. His pony took a wrong step on the slippery wood, staggered to the side, eyes wild with fear, and disappeared into the water.  
”No!”  
Kili heard himself scream as he crawled on his stomach toward the edge of the raft. Faintly, as if in a dream, he heard Fili cry out in warning to him, but all his focus was on the tiny head of the pony that stuck up over the surface as she pushed her short legs through the water. That's it, he thought. Swim closer. Please. The reins. Please, swim closer just so I can get the reins … He crawled closer to the edge and flung his arm out as far as he could. He touched the reins with his fingertips, and on the next try he got hold of them. Breathing out in relief, he was just about to crawl back when the pony turned in panic, tossing its head in the new direction, and he lost the little grip his body had on the wood under him.  
”Kili!! Let go of the reins!”  
He heard his brother screaming, but the words did not make any sense. Then, all of a sudden, he was struck by the cold of the water. He felt something, like the knee of a small horse, hit him in the head, and after that all went black and breathless.

When he came to, the first thing he noticed was the sunlight. Then I can't be dead, he thought, because I'm not underground. The second thing was the arms around him, the knees under his head and his brother's face looking down at him as if Smaug the dragon had flown out of the sky and offered him the crown of Erebor.  
”Kili! Kili –”  
”I'm here” Kili whispered, unable to think of something better to say.  
His throat felt sore, his lungs hurt, and his head was about to split like wood under an axe. His elder brother bent down and hugged him tightly, almost rocking him in his broad arms. Kili coughed. Fili instantly let him go and helped him to sit up, frowning deeply as Kili kept coughing violently, his whole body shaking. At length the coughs died down, leaving his body limp and spent in Fili's arms. He fell back into his brother's lap with closed eyes as his lips and chin was gently dried.  
”What happened?” he finally managed to whimper.  
”Are you alright?” Fili pressed anxiously.  
Kili took a deep breath, nodded and heard Fili sigh back in relief.  
”We need to get ya out o' these clothes” his brother said. ”I'll help ya.”  
Kili forced himself back up to a sitting position while Fili tugged at his wet clothes. Suddenly he realised how cold he was. He began to shake, from cold and perhaps also from shock. At length Fili had managed to free him from his soaked garments and left him shivering on his back in the grass for a moment to tear off his own. It was not until then that Kili noticed the water that was still dripping from his brothers braids and reluctantly began to understand what Fili had done.

Fili dove down onto the ground again and brought Kili's spinning head back into his lap. They were both naked now, but such details hardly mattered at the moment.  
”I –” Fili started, fumbling for words and touching Kili's shoulder awkwardly. ”I got in the water after ya … I pulled ya up …”  
Kili lifted his arm and took Fili's hand in his own, squeezing it gently as if to say: it's alright, I'm here now. Fili clutched it hard.  
”You were so – so heavy …” he shuddered.  
The older dwarf closed his eyes and leaned forward until his brow touched Kili's. Kili could feel him tremble with each shallow breath. Then Fili lifted his head again, blue eyes in a face full of worried reproach fixing Kili's own.  
”Why didn't ya swim?!”  
”I – I think I got kicked” Kili managed.  
Fili bit his lip hard and looked down again, still stroking Kili's shoulder with his free hand.  
”Where are the ponies?” Kili suddenly asked.  
Fili looked up.  
”What? Oh … They're here both of them. Your Rusty swam right to the shore. She was the only sensible one of all of us. Mine turned up here all wet and miserable as well. Got lonely on the raft, I guess.”  
Fili seemed to feel more relieved when he became busy talking, Kili thought. Yet when his elder brother smiled, the smile did not reach his eyes as it usually did. Kili was about to ask if something was wrong, when Fili's whole body suddenly seemed to collapse as he bent over Kili, and he broke down into violent sobs. Kili opened his mouth in surprise, but no words came out. Fili whimpered something inaudible in his ear, and his shaking hands lost their grip on Kili's body as they clenched and opened. Then he pulled up, gasping for breath, and Kili could see his face, wrinkled in utter misery as tears flowed freely down his cheeks and his lips trembled. Jolts ran through Kili's head when he sat up to take hold of his brother, but he ignored the startling pain, Fili's distress and to stop him from suffering being all that he could think about.  
”What is it?” he pleaded. ”Please, you must tell me.”  
Fili jerked his head up and stared into Kili's eyes.  
”You!” he forced out, sobbing. ”You. Why on earth did you to that? You could've killed yourself. You could've been gone. Kili, you must never go! I love ya so much, you're my brother, you've been with me all my life. We ought to be together.”  
He paused and swallowed, still looking into Kili's eyes and still crying openly.  
”I would never share my life with anyone except for you. I would never let anything come between us. You can't leave me, Kili. You just can't.”  
His broken voice trailed off into a sobbing without words. Kili kept holding his arms around him, silent and shocked. He felt deeply unwell, and everything was too much for him to take in.  
”I'm not leaving you, Fili” he managed to whisper faintly, before he threw himself off his brother and was violently sick on the bright, green grass.

When Kili awoke, late in the morning the next day, he was feeling well enough to start being a little more conscious of the fact that he was still naked for all but his coat. Like the rest of his race, he was resistant to cold, as well as heat, and the chill of the spring air had not disturbed his sleep. The day before, Fili, when he eventually calmed down, had reminded him that he must stay awake until he knew that he was not about to get worse. Kili had complained so pitifully about feeling tired that Fili had let him hold the ponies, one in each hand, as he rested on the ground, so that he would have something to focus on. Later they would have to tie them to any of the small bushes that grew nearby and hope for the best – since both ponies now refused to go near the ferry ropes – but for the time being, Kili gratefully held Rusty's reins tightly in his grasp. He watched while Fili brought the ferry in close to the shore and gathered their coats and weapons from it. Unlike the ponies, they had stayed in their spot and were still in the same condition as before. The situation was worse with the items that the ponies had carried. Fili was forced to discard some of their food, and while most of their belongings only needed time to dry, it would certainly take them a full day to do so. Kili promised that he would shoot them something better to eat as soon as he had slept, and Fili spread out all the wet things around the spot he had prepared for a fire. 

That had been yesterday. Now Kili sat up and soon found that he felt much revived. He smiled at Fili who was sitting a bit off watching him, fur resting against the golden hair on his chest.  
”Feeling better?” his brother asked, concern still present in his voice.  
Kili nodded, grinning.  
”Any food?” he wondered.  
”Aye, coming.”  
Fili jumped to his feet, and Kili could see him brighten bit by bit as he prepared what seemed to be a large, meaty breakfast for his little brother. He brought a little for himself as well, and then they sat down close to each other and began to eat. After a while Kili quietly cleared his throat. He took himself off guard by doing it, as if he hadn't realised how deeply he needed answers until his voice had made the choice to ask the questions on its own.  
”Fili?”  
”Mhm?” came the reply, through a stuffed mouth.  
”Um. Yesterday …”  
He sighed hesitantly.  
”When … All those things you said, about sharing your life with no one except me? Did you really mean those things, because, well, I always thought ya wanted to take a wife and grow a family, and maybe what ya meant was that ya wanted to share your life with me besides that, but I – I just don't know” he blurted out.  
Fili had been chewing slower and slower while Kili talked. Now he stopped altogether, swallowing loudly as he raised his eyebrows at him.  
”You don't know what?” he said, both astounded and a little upset. ”Of course I meant what I said. I thought you knew I felt that way. I just didn't find it necessary to go around pointing it out to ya.”  
He paused.  
”Don't – Don't you feel that way, Kili?”  
Then he looked down, staring into the grass at his naked feet, his shoulders tilting forward a little. Kili stared at him. He …  
”Yes” whispered fiercely. ”Yes, Fili, I do. Of course I do.”  
He crossed the tiny patch of grass between them and pulled Fili into a tight embrace, resting his own cheek against his. He felt the hair in front of his ear stir as Fili breathed on it and leaned deeper into the warmth and safety of his brother's arms. He hesitated – and then he turned his head. His lips briefly touched Fili's cheekbone, but then Fili turned too, and lips were upon lips, and the sky exploded.

Before he had time to think, Kili had pulled back and staggered to his feet. He clutched the edges of his coat, wrapping himself tightly in it. When his gaze turned back to Fili he found that the other dwarf was eyeing him quietly, with a coldness that he had never seen in him before. It hit him like a throwing axe. His brother rose, slowly pulling his coat about him in the same manner that Kili had done, and stood straight in front of him, still locking their eyes together.  
”I guess I was mistaken” he said in a low voice, which was horrifyingly blank, and walked past Kili over to the burnt-down fire where he started to collect his clothes. Kili dug his nails sharply into his palms, beginning to wonder just how close he was to losing his own mind.  
”But –” he tried, following Fili warily a few steps. ”But we're brothers!”  
He almost screamed. Fili turned to face him.  
”Yes?” he said scornfully. ”Ya know, I've noticed that to. And it didn't stop me.”  
There was a hint of regret in the last words, or maybe of a regretful apology, Kili thought. Fili had moved away from him again and was turning his shirt in his hands. He allowed his coat to slide off his shoulders and stood naked with his back to Kili before putting the shirt on. Kili stood frozen, looking at him. His brother. It was so wrong, and yet, it was the only thing that was entirely right. He sighed and let Fili's name slip from his lips. The dwarf in front of him stiffened a bit. Then he proceeded to put on his breeches. Kili said his name again, louder this time and with more certainty.  
”Yes?” came the answer, as cold as before – but also carrying the tone of someone who was still struggling to part with his last lingering fragment of hope.  
”I love you” Kili said.  
And then simply:  
”Kiss me again.”

Fili turned around. He opened his mouth wordlessly and took a small step forward. Then one of the ponies threw its head in the air at the sudden movement as the two dwarves extinguished the gap between them, throwing their arms around each other, and Fili's lips came crashing up on Kili's own. There were teeth and tongue and fierceness as Fili fought down Kili's gentle resistance and claimed his mouth with a passion that Kili could not have imagined even in his wildest dreams. He was out of breath, he felt like crying, and his heart hammered as if it was about to burst. Fili slid his arms under his coat and rubbed his chest and back with strong, broad hands. Kili trembled under the touches, closing his eyes, never wanting it to end. His own fingers travelled on their own accord over Fili's warm shoulders, down across the small of his back and then upward again, into his thick, golden hair where they caught braids and strands and pulled him closer, deeper into the kiss. Kili moaned softly. Fili answered him a bit louder and gave a final deep thrust with his tongue before pulling back for a moment.  
”We should –” he mumbled.  
”Mhm” Kili said expectantly.  
”– check on the ponies” Fili finished hoarsely.  
Kili took a step backward, staring wide-eyed at him. This was his brother's seriousness taken one step too far, he thought lightly. Fili deserved a nudge in the right direction. Kili took another step back and hurled himself onto the shorter dwarf, sending them both to the ground in a heap of warmth and panting closeness. His coat fell apart, and once again Fili gripped his body with firm hands. His leg bent over Kili's naked one and drew him nearer. Their thighs rubbed against each other, and it was all too much to take in. Kili's head spun worse than it had done yesterday, but this time it was for all the right reasons. Fili pushed him down hard into the grass and leaned over him, looking into his eyes with his hands tangled in his hair.  
”You are so strangely beautiful” he said, with emphasis on each word, as if he had waited for years to speak them.  
Kili's heart kept racing as he pulled him in for another kiss. He could all but ignore the hardness that by now was pressing firmly into his side, and soon Fili grinded against him – one single slow thrust. Kili's own arousal lay bare and throbbing against the dark curls on his abdomen. He closed his eyes and –  
”No, really” Fili panted, moving back a little. ”We should move the ponies. All this's no good if we lose 'em.”  
Kili groaned.  
”They're right over there sleeping, see? Now come here. Please, Fili!”  
He had never thought that he would hear himself beg like this, and somehow even that aroused him. For a moment Fili was swayed, leaning back in and kissing him deeply, messily. Then his hands let go of Kili's hair, and he rose slowly to his feet, instead taking Kili's hand.  
”The truth is –” he said warily, ”what if someone else comes this way to cross the river? Here we'd be visible to the whole world.”  
Kili finally nodded, finding some sense in the other dwarf's words. Right now the world seemed empty enough but for themselves, but he tried fiercely not to think of what could happen if they were seen, be it by friend or enemy.  
”Let's move then” he sighed, ”and see if everything's dried.”

To their relief, they found all their belongings at least dry enough to be put on or packed down again. They dressed quickly and were soon on their way. This time they walked so as to spare the saddles, which Fili had oiled the evening before to prevent the leather from cracking. They were wandering next to each other in a slow pace, occasionally holding hands, but not saying much. Kili looked at his elder brother most of the time, but turned his eyes away whenever Fili tried to look back at him. Now, when their first wild moments of touching were over, he found that he felt a little shy.  
”I saw ya with a woman once” he suddenly admitted, trying to sound casual.  
”Oh” Fili replied, a little surprised.  
”That's – that's why I thought ya had in mind to marry some day” Kili mumbled. ”But you don't.”  
”No, I don't” Fili gently confirmed. ”An' honestly, I don't understand why you'd come up with that idea. Haven't ya ever been with a woman, Kili?”  
”I –”  
Kili looked down at his boots and felt his cheeks redden.  
”– I preferred to be with men.”  
”Oh” Fili said again.  
They continued to walk in silence for a while. Then Fili said softly:  
”I've never done that.”  
”You've –” Kili hesitated, ”you've never been with a man?”  
”No.”  
Kili stopped and stared at his brother.  
”Well …” Fili mumbled, looking away a little embarrassed when Kili kept eyeing him.  
Kili reluctantly withdrew his gaze and lowered his head to hide the grin that spread across his face. Fili took a step toward him, capturing him in his arms.  
”I guess you'll have to show me how it's done” he whispered, smiling, in Kili's ear.  
Kili felt his knees go soft, while another part of him became hard in an instant.  
”I guess” he whispered back breathlessly, bringing the shorter dwarf into a slow and sweet kiss.

Soon their road became more and more bordered by trees and boulders of various sizes. At last they stopped at the foot of a stony little hill where patches of sheltering bushes grew among the rocks. They had journeyed mostly southward, and the river was still visible in the distant. Once more Fili made their camp, while Kili mounted and set off to fulfil his promise of bringing fresh meat to the table. When he returned he was carrying a dressed deer in front of the saddle.  
”Shot at full gallop” he exclaimed proudly.  
”I imagine you went quite far then” Fili said from where he sat, crawled up on a rock and sucking on his pipe.  
”Good thing you didn't get helplessly lost.”  
Kili eyed his brother darkly.  
”Always something wrong is it?” he said, unmounting.  
Fili flung his hands out.  
”I'm sorry, Kili. I worry about ya, that's all.”  
Kili shrugged and threw the deer to the ground. Fili rose and put his pipe away, moving over to help him with it. He kept glancing anxiously at Kili all through the cooking and eating, which Kili found more than a little unnerving. Even as they kissed afterward, his brother's lips felt tense and his touches rushed. Finally Kili pulled out of them, upset and bewildered.  
”What's wrong now?” he asked. ”Did I do something?”  
When Fili only sighed and gave him an unconvincing smile, he broke out in a rapid voice:  
”I'd have thrown ya to the ground an' claimed ya like a prey, Fili, that's what I wanted to, but see? I did what ya wanted. I walked all the way here with ya, 'cause that's what ya wanted to. And then ya were hungry, so I brought us food …”  
His voice cracked embarrassingly.  
”… And all you've done is looking at me like you're scared of me, and now you're pulling away from me.”  
He stopped to catch his breath, staring at Fili who was staring back at him, his lips moving as if he had been trying to interrupt and now had forgotten what he had been about to say.  
”You've changed your mind, haven't you?” Kili suddenly said, his voice deep and empty.  
Please don't answer, the voice inside him screamed. I cannot bear it. Please, just stand up and walk away from me. I'm going to throw up again. Why'd you have to draw me into this? Why?

”Kili.”  
Fili's voice was calm and solemn.  
”I have not changed my mind. Don't you understand? One day ago … I almost lost you.”  
Kili slowly brought his hands up to rub his own temples, trying to steady his breath. What had begun like music to his ears had instantly turned into something he did not want to think about.  
”When I pulled you up, I first thought you were dead” his brother whispered. ”Even as I swam, I thought a thousand thoughts of what my life would be without you. And now, when you went away to hunt, all those thoughts came back, and all I could think of was that you might not return.”  
Kili frowned. Deep inside him he knew that he had never truly been able to take in this side of his brother, and suddenly that made him feel ashamed. He realised that maybe he had acted recklessly too many times over all these years and afterward just shut out his brother's concern, thinking nothing of it, because – because, he thought, it scared him that Fili would be afraid of something.  
”I'm sorry” he said, swallowing.  
Then, finally daring to voice the truth out loud, he added in a breath:  
”You saved my life, brother.”  
Then Fili reached forward to run his fingers through his little brother's unruly hair.  
”And I should never've had to” he said. ”You're the only dwarf who would throw yourself in a river because a pony wanted to take a swim!”  
He turned serious again, but his voice became softer.  
”Ya have to promise me to be more careful, Kili. Ya have to think before ya rush into things.”  
Kili lowered his eyes.  
”I will” he said, biting his lip, meaning it with all his heart.  
”You know you worried me to death” his brother said. ”I love you. Try not to do stupid things. Remember, the road ahead will be worse. I need you to stay with me.”  
”I'll always stay with you” Kili answered carefully, still a little taken aback by Fili's emotions, but less afraid now that he had started to acknowledge and accept them.  
His elder brother leaned over and held him tight against his chest, softly repeating words of love. Kili tilted his head, and Fili's voice turned into a quiet mumble as they started kissing each other, slowly and tenderly. Soon Kili noticed a change in the other dwarf that made his own heart double its pace. The kisses became deeper and harder, silent moans slipping from wet lips. This is it, Kili thought, as his fingers went and lost themselves in his brother's golden hair. This is it.

Having rid themselves of their more uncomfortable clothing, they lay down in each other's arms. Grass tickled their faces, and Fili's dark scent mingled with the scents of spring. Once more Kili was mercilessly crushed down, this time pinned between the ground and the length of his brother's strong body. Fili was as fierce in love making as he was in battle, Kili thought, all the times his brother had triumphed over him in sparring suddenly forgiven. Then he stopped thinking, as Fili's lips closed around his ear and he cried out at the sensations it brought. He moaned Fili's name and heard the other dwarf chuckle quietly at him. At first it made him slightly annoyed, and yet, that only aroused him the more. He pushed himself upward, but Fili seized his wrists, effectively holding him down as he moved in for another searing kiss. Then the other dwarf's leg separated his thighs, putting a slight pressure on the heat between them, and Kili's head rolled to the side. He began to thrust, moaning and gripping Fili's shirt until he was certain that the fabric would tear at any moment. He glanced up at Fili, hearing himself whisper words of how much he wanted him. His brother only grinned in answer.

Then Kili was released and made to sit up by those same strong arms. He was placed in the other dwarf's lap and instinctively wrapped his legs around him, pulling close and sending them both gasping. Fili's hands came up to take hold of his hair, but Kili's were still on his brother's shirt, tugging it upward. In a moment Fili lifted his arms helpfully, and – if still a little inelegantly – Kili was able to free him of it. He ripped his own shirt off inpatiently, revealing chest muscles that made Fili moan through closed lips as his fingers rushed to travel over them, brushing through the dark hair. Oh, look at you, Kili thought weakly. I'm half the man you are. He pulled the older dwarf closer and nestled in between his neck and shoulder, kissing and biting the soft flesh. Fili groaned and then, finding Kili's hard nipple with his thumb, made Kili do the same, only much louder. Kili dug his nails into his brother's back, thrusting against him as his teeth kept leaving marks of passion on his skin. Then suddenly he was on his back again, and Fili was grinding harder, breathing faster. Kili's hands started roaming over the broad chest above him, yet did not stop there for long before they wandered down the stomach to the waistband of Fili's breeches. Fili caught Kili's gaze, and Kili looked up into blue eyes that were darkening with arousal.  
”Wait here” Fili panted, releasing his younger brother and struggling to his feet.  
He took a few steps away and returned with a blanket that he spread out on the ground beside Kili, who was watching him while crudely rubbing the swelling in his breeches. Fili bit his lip in a bad attempt to hide a smirk and moved to stand over him, one foot planted on each side of his legs. Then he put both his hands on the front of his waistband and started to undo the lacing, looking down at his feet in a somewhat bashful way, yet still smirking. Kili could do nothing but to keep watching the golden-haired dwarf undress in front of him and groan wordlessly in frustration.  
”Please …” he finally managed.  
There he was, begging again. Yet Fili was so unbearably slow – and in these matters, Kili had always been a man who knew what he wanted. 

Fili's smile broadened as his gaze travelled upward over Kili's wanting body. Their eyes met for a brief moment, before Kili's turned back to a completely different place on the other dwarf's body, suddenly revealed by stout hands pulling off clothing. Oh, Durin, yes. Show me. Touch yourself for me, oh, you're – huge.  
”Ah, Fili” he panted, torn between grinning and gaping. ”You're … perfection.”  
Fili looked down again, perhaps in genuine bashfulness this time. Aye, that must've sounded stupid beyond belief, Kili thought without regret. Through the years he had seen his elder brother hard on various occasions and in various states of embarrassment, but he had – obviously – never before seen him this hard. Good thing Thorin hasn't crowned himself yet, because you are a sight for kings, he thought. Then he decided that – as witty as it sounded in his head – it probably wasn't the best picture to bring to his or Fili's mind right now, and turned back to just take in the sight of his brother.

Fili took a quick step to the side and rid himself completely of his breeches. Then he fell to his knees on the blanket and held out his hand to Kili. Kili took it and found himself half crawling, half being dragged toward the older dwarf, and then gently forced to lay back down. He shuddered as Fili's hands took no detours on their way to the waistband of his breeches. His hips bucked for contact, but the other dwarf carefully avoided touching anything besides the lacing. Yet, when the breeches were untied, Fili at last placed one hand on top of them, cupping it around the hard bulge. Kili's gasps broke into loud moans as he thrusted upward against the warm pressure. He realised that he had closed his eyes, and now he opened them again, looking into Fili's. His brother's features were filled with lust and amazement. Soon Kili impatiently used his own hands to wriggle free of his breeches, exposing all of his body to his already naked lover. He watched Fili looking at him – the way he was drinking in the sight of his lean, dark younger brother – and suddenly the thought came to him that he had never felt this good and confident about himself before. He opened his mouth, but Fili raced him to it.  
”I love you, Kili.”  
His voice was husky and breathless, darker than Kili had ever heard it before. His brother went down on his hands, and Kili's eyes rolled back into his head, for in the next moment their naked bodies made contact. Chest was upon chest, thigh upon thigh, and dark hair mingled with golden as Fili's weight came to rest on Kili's yearning body. They breathed in sharply as one, their shaking hands touching each other, groping and pulling.  
”Fili …” Kili moaned softly.  
A ragged gasp was the only answer.

They started moving together, grinding slowly at first, oblivious to everything but the sensation of their movements. The back of Kili's cock slid against Fili's thigh, and he felt Fili warm and hard against his stomach. He moved his hand in between their bodies and touched the other dwarf's cock with a trembling tenderness that soon turned into a steady and forceful grip. Fili brought his mouth close to his ear, breathing encouragements with increasing rapture. He would, however, not let Kili give without taking. Rolling off him to lay on the ground beside him, Fili took his younger brother's aching cock in his rough hand and began to mirror the strokes he was submitting himself to. Kili gasped and cried out in warning. Too much, too good – not yet, slow down. Either Fili was born the perfect lover, or it was that he himself was more aroused than he had ever been before. Probably both, he decided, but there was no way that he could tell. At the moment the only thing he was certain of was how badly he wanted more. Scrambling up, he changed his position so that his face where in level with Fili's hips, while the rest of his body remained comfortably stretched out where Fili could keep stroking him. He heard the older dwarf whisper his name as he ran his fingers through the thick, golden curls between his thighs, leaning over to kiss the skin. Then he took Fili's cock in his hand once more and traced it from the thick base to the swollen head with the tip of his tongue. Fili twitched and cried out. Kili returned down and began to lick the shaft slowly with firm, upward strokes until his lips came to rest on the tip. He turned his head to gaze up at Fili, raising an eyebrow in playful question.  
”Kili, please …”  
Satisfied with the reaction, Kili did not wait to dive down on him, taking his full length in his mouth. Fili's flesh was smooth and hot, and he tasted of sweat and precome. 

Kili could not see his brother's face anymore, but the pace in which that hand was now stroking his cock told him what it might look like. Soon enough Fili's other hand was in his hair, tugging gently at it, urging him on. Kili stopped and pulled away, ignoring the frustrated whimpers and the hand trying to get him back in place.  
”If ya keep going like this, this'll be over in the blink of an eye” he said, out of breath.  
Fili mumbled something incomprehensible, then clarified himself by nodding. Kili sat up and moved in to lean over him, taking the sudden opportunity to be on top. Noticing that the other dwarf had been unable to keep from touching himself, he pushed his hand away and crashed down on him, leaving no space between them. His fingers entwined themselves in Fili's golden hair and forced his head still as he kissed and nipped at his ears and throat. His elder brother moaned, hips thrusting upward at each bite. Finally Kili released him, allowing him to seize his own lips in a deep, wet kiss. As if he could read Kili's mind, one of Fili's hands left his shoulders and slid down to rest firmly on his buttock. Kili pulled out of the kiss, gathering breath for a hoarse whisper:  
”I want you inside me.”  
Fili's eyes flung open, and he looked widely up at Kili.  
”I – I don't want to hurt you” he answered.  
Kili sighed and calmly fought down the urge to roll his eyes.  
”You won't” he said firmly. ”Trust me this time.”  
Fili slowly relaxed again. Soon his hands took an even steadier grip on Kili's body, betraying how much he wanted this too. Kili smiled a little and kissed him again, his lips brushing against the fine braids at the corners of his mouth.  
”Get the leather oil” he whispered and rolled off his brother's body.

Fili stepped away, this time delaying much longer as he scrambled through his bags with clumsy fingers, cursing loudly. At last he produced a small bottle, which he held up triumphantly in front of him. He returned to Kili's side and carefully handed him the oil. Kili brushed damp strands of hair from his brow and opened the bottle, a slight smirk still lingering on his lips. He took Fili's hand, poured some of the smooth liquid on it and then guided it slowly down between his thighs. His brother's breath quickened as he bent over Kili and kissed him roughly. Kili pushed him away for a moment, sliding his leg between them and placing it on his sturdy shoulder. There he was – ready for him. Fili started stroking him with his dry hand as the other made its way over his sack and further down, to the place where it finally stopped, rubbing gently and sending sparks up Kili's spine. The finger entered with ease. It sent Kili moaning and writhing as he was being touched by both of Fili's hands, captured between them. Soon the older dwarf built up a steady pace of stroking – one hand firm, the other more gentle. Kili felt himself relax completely and lose himself to the pleasure. Looking up at Fili's glowing face, focused and dark, yet loving, was almost enough to send him over the edge. At last he drew a deep breath and collected himself.  
”Now take me” he ordered, moaning softly.  
Fili let out an unsteady breath, locking their eyes together as he slowly bent down to kiss him. Kili bit his brother's lip, licking it from between his teeth.  
”Like this?” Fili asked against his mouth.  
”Aye” Kili whispered back after a moment's hesitation. ”I want to see your face.”

Kili held his breath as the other dwarf slowly withdrew his hands from him. He sat up and helped Fili to cover himself with oil, stealing groans from his flushed lips as he stroked his shaft. Eventually Fili pushed him away, looking sternly at him. For a moment Kili thought that he would be thrown down anew and taken right then with no excuses. His mouth went dry with a little nervousness and a lot of anticipation. Fili's expression, however, became more tender as he positioned himself between Kili's thighs, lifting his legs back to his shoulders and kissing them as he did so. Kili lay down on his back, looking at Fili's stout, perfect body, trying to find the words to describe to this beautiful man what he saw.  
”You alright?” the dwarf in front if him asked.  
”Not until I can feel ya inside me” Kili heard himself answer, almost ritually.  
Fili bit his lip and turned his eyes down to the space between Kili's legs, gripping his hard cock and guiding himself forward. Kili closed his eyes to focus on the sensations, but soon opened them again, not for the world willing to miss the look n Fili's face. He gasped as the other dwarf's slick hardness began to stretch him. He was so big, and Kili was grateful that he had the sense to do it slowly, because he himself would never have had the strength to make him. His hands gripped the blanket as Fili's grip tightened on his thighs and he began to thrust gently, carefully, in and out of the body below him. He had began to look almost painfully aroused. Kili moaned with pleasure, raising his voice to urge Fili deeper. With a deep growl, the golden-haired dwarf buried his full length inside him, and after that, his thrusts were fierce and full of unrestrained need. At first Kili felt a sharp sting of pain, but before he had the time to stop Fili, the discomfort gave way to a pleasure that was even greater than before. His eyes shut themselves tightly and the world around him became reduced to the scent of soil, grass, and sweat, Fili's groans, and the sensations of being filled by his warm, throbbing hardness. He let go of the blanket and began to stroke himself rapidly, his other hand touching his brother wherever he could reach him. Fili stopped his movements for a moment and carefully lowered Kili's legs to his sides so that he could bend down close to him. Kili's hands immediately came up to take hold of his braids, pulling him into a short, sloppy kiss. He felt Fili smile against his lips. 

Then Fili pulled back and took Kili's cock in his rough hand, still slippery with oil, and started stroking him. Kili cried out, his voice soon being broken up by the other dwarf who was pounding into him with all the fierceness of the warrior inside him. His eyes watered as he was being consumed by Fili's raging passion, and then he heard Fili's breaths becoming shorter and even more rushed. With a final wild cry, his brother slammed into him and emptied himself inside his body, then fell forward on his hands, shaking all over as he gave a last few slow thrusts. Kili whispered his name over and over again, still clinging to his sweat-soaked hair with one hand as the other moved down to his own aching cock. With no more than a few hard strokes he finished himself off, his mind exploding in colours as he released himself over Fili's chest – white drops in the golden hair. Then he sank back with Fili on top of him, holding him and was being held, for what seemed like an eternity.

They were sitting together, smoking and looking out over the dark fields from the top of the hill. Kili's thoughts still lingered serenely on the last few hours. Afterward, when they had risen and tried to sort out their clothes, Fili had strained to look at his shoulder, touching the purple marks that Kili had bestowed upon it.  
”Oh, Durin” he had exclaimed proudly. ”It looks like we've seen battle an' barely got out of it alive.”  
”Just don't – don't come up with any stories if somebody asks” Kili had said, smiling warily. ”Thorin would lose his mind. He'd probably make us go home again.”  
”I'd never” Fili had answered, ”but unless ya intend to keep making these, they'll be gone 'til then.”  
Kili took his pipe from his mouth and looked at his brother. Loose hairs were sticking out messily from his uneven braids. Kili grinned, earning a suspicious glance from the other dwarf.  
”Your hair” he explained shortly, before remembering what he had been about to ask.  
”How long do ya think we have left until we'll be meeting the others?”  
Fili felt his braids with one hand as he pondered the question.  
”Oh, I've been awful at keeping track of it, Kili” he answered at length. ”But anyway, we're not even halfway there yet.”  
Kili nodded, licking his lips and getting back to his pipe. Aye. They were not even halfway there.  
”And when we get there” Fili continued, partly to himself, ”we might just still get the chance to sneak away every now an' then, though it'll have to be with the greatest care – and though it shan't be often.”  
Kili put his arms around his golden-haired elder brother, and they kissed through the smoke, which trailed off across the starry sky and into the night.  
”I'll stay close to ya” he whispered softly. ”I'll always be by your side. We'll find ourselves a way.”

**Author's Note:**

> Last edits made 6th March 2013.


End file.
